


Dine and Dash

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke works at her fathers diner, F/F, Lexa comes in looking for a job, pregnant!lexa, she is also pregnant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:33:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5906464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke works at her fathers diner and a very pregnant Lexa comes in looking for a job</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a one shot but I'm considering writing another part... Let me know if you like it : )

Clarke wouldn't say she was the best mannered human being. She didn't always say thank you, sometimes she forgot to say please and she knew close to nothing about proper dinner etiquette but she tried her best to be polite and not make people uncomfortable.

But then you have people like the man at table ten.

He was a middle aged, heavy set man, a truck driver -like most of the costumers in the diner were- and he, apparently, didn't have a problem with openly, and loudly, burping and using his fork to scratch a section of his back that his fingers couldn't reach.

Clarke scrunched her face up at the man, "Gross," she whispered to herself, jumping when someone hummed beside her, almost falling off of her stool as she whirled around. "Oh," The squeak left her lips before she had even realized it, but, well, you couldn't really blame her for that. The girl standing on the other side of the counter was, for lack of a better word, striking. She was tanned, with long, brown hair and forest green eyes. Her eyebrows were sculpted perfectly and, god, that jawline.

"What a pig," The girl grumbled and, honestly, Clarke should have prepared herself. Of course her voice was going to be gravely and deep.

"Yeah," Clarke honestly didn't mean for her voice to come out at breathy as it did and the girl seemed to notice because a slow grin stretched across her lips. She cleared her throat, sitting up straighter as she pulled her notepad out of her apron. "Sorry. What can I get you?"

"A job, if there is one going?" The girl answered as she stood up straight and, ok, so she was pregnant. Clarke chewed on her lip, quickly looking away from the girls swollen stomach and back to her face.

"Uh, just let me go ask my dad if we're hiring." Clarke pointed her pencil over her shoulder, smiling reassuringly at the girl before stuffing her notepad and pencil back into her pocket and heading into the back.

Clarke rapped her knuckles on the door of the office, pushing the door open without waiting for any acknowledgment.

"Daddy..."

"Oh, boy," The man sighed, looking up at Clarke "That word usually costs me."

"I don't want money. I've just been thinking, if I am working at the diner every day I don't really have time to do homework." Clarke started and her dad hummed, clasping his hands in front of his mouth as he narrowed his eyes skeptically at his daughter. "Now, you know what would really help with that? Hiring someone else, they could ease the work load I have and that would leave me time to do homework."

"Huh, and would you happen to have anyone in mind?" The man asked and that's when it hit Clarke. She didn't get that girls name so she couldn't claim that they were friends.

"Ok, dad, truth." Clarke sighed. "This girl just came in asking for a job."

"And was she pretty?"

"Dad," Clarke gasped. "That's not what this is about."

"I'm sure," The man chuckled, placing his glasses back on his nose as he looked back down at the books in front of him.

"She's pregnant, dad." Clarke huffed, drawing her dads attention back to her, signing a big bump over her belly. "Like, really pregnant."

Her dad looked thoughtful for a second. "We can't just hire anyone who needs a little help."

"Everything else I said before is true. I am falling behind in my studies, I work here everyday after school then, by the time I'm done, I'm too tired to do my homework. If we hire someone else I won't have as much work to do so I just do my homework while I work."

The man sighed at his daughters reasoning. "Fine. Send her in, let me have a talk with her. But if I do hire her she's  _your_  responsibility, you train her, you watch over her. If anything goes missing, she does anything wrong, it's on you."

"Sure, yes. Definitely, dad." Clarke grinned, bouncing on her toes as she spun around, rushing back into the diner. "I will be with you in a second." Clarke said to the five new people sitting at the counter, flashing them a quick smile before heading over to the girl.

The girl looked a little startled at Clarke's bright smile.

"He said you can go through."

"Really?" The girl asked with a surprised frown. "You actually went to see you dad?"

"Of course, I told you I was."

"Yeah, but I have been to seven different places today and I'm pretty sure that every time they go to 'talk to their managers' they actually just stand in the back for a while then come out and tell me they aren't hiring."

"Well, we are," Clarke shrugged, "Just go on through. Straight through the kitchen, there's a door that says Jake Griffin on it, just knock."

"Ok, cool," The girl nodded, rounding the counter, stopping in front of Clarke. "I'm Lexa, by the way."

"Clarke."

"Yeah," Lexa grinned, giving Clarke's name tag a little tug. "I got that."

"Oh," Clarke glanced down at her name tag, her cheeks heating up as she looked up at Lexa. "Obviously."

"Thanks, I really owe you one."

Clarke nodded, her eyes training on Lexa as she headed into the kitchen.

"Hey, kid, how about some service over here?"

Clarke jumped, quickly pulling her notepad and pencil out of her pocket. "Sorry, sir. What can I get you?"

Clarke spent the next ten minutes rushing are the diner, taking and distributing orders. It was leading up to the afternoon lunch rush so both she and the cook, Octavia, were rushed off their feet.

Clarke was leaning through the window to get the plate of food from Octavia when Lexa left her dad's office with an apron in her hand.

"I take it it went well?" Clarke asked as she rushed over to table seven, setting the plates down on the table.

"I'm on probation." Lexa explained. "Your dad said that you've to show me the ropes."

"Ok, um," Clarke hummed, scanning the busy diner. "Ok, it's the lunch time rush right now so I don't really _have_  time right now. But you could take food to tables." Clarke pointed over to the row of booths along the walls. "One through twelve, down the side there is thirteen through twenty and those tables in the middle are twenty one through twenty eight. The numbers are on the sides of the booths and on the tables the numbers are in the middle on sticks."

"And how will I know which plate goes to which table?"

"Octavia will tell you,"

"Hey, kid! How about a refill over here?" Clarke glanced in the direction of the voice before looking back at Lexa. "Go talk to Octavia, she will help you out for now. As soon as everything calms down I will take you through how to work the register and stuff."

"Is everyone that rude?" Lexa asked, following Clarke over to the counter where the smaller girl pushed herself up onto her toes to reach over and grab the coffee pot.

"Mostly." Clarke nodded, standing up straight and looking over at Lexa. "This place is usually filled with entitled old white men, go figure."

A ghost of a smile stretched across Lexa's lips as she nodded.

"I will catch up with you once the rush is over," Clarke promised, flashing Lexa a quick smile before she rushed off to refill the man's cup.

The lunch time rush started to slow down at around two thirty, leaving a few stragglers and a couple of teenagers, who probably spent most of their time in the diner leering at Clarke like, well, horny teenagers.

"And once you've taken down the order, making sure to add the table number, and pin it up there." Clarke pointed back at the wire that was strung along with window between the kitchen and the main diner. "Octavia will make the food and call out once it's ready."

Lexa nodded along but Clarke knew everything she had been telling her over the past ten minutes was a lot to take in so she knew Lexa would probably end up asking her for help. "I got most of that."

"If you need help with anything just ask."

"How long have you been doing this?" Lexa asked, leaning back against the counter, one hand unconsciously resting on her swollen tummy.

"My dad has owned this place since before I can remember so I've always kind of been around it. I started working here properly when I was fourteen." Clarke explained, twirling her pencil around her fingers. "Why do you need a job?"

"I know you're trying to be polite and pretend it's not a thing but I'll have a kid to look after soon."

"What?" Clarke gasped in mock surprise and Lexa tried to hold her glare but a chuckle left her lips.

"I have bills to pay, you will be surprised how quickly your saving can run out."

Clarke wanted to ask why Lexa had bills to pay at all, she couldn't have been older than seventeen, she shouldn't be worrying about bills. But she doesn't, because that isn't any of her business and Lexa didn't exactly seem like the sharing type.

"You will be ok working, wont you? You know, with-" Clarke waved in the direction of Lexa's stomach.

"Yes, I'm only five months gone, I still have four months left."

Clarke nodded, balancing her pencil on her ear. "You look pregnant."

"Yeah," Lexa glanced down at her stomach.

"No, that's not what I meant. Your-" Clarke motioned towards her own face. "Glowing, I guess. I don't know."

"Well, thank you, I think."

"Yes," Clarke rushed out, holding her hands up and out towards Lexa. "That was a compliment, I swear. You're beautiful and you just seem to be-" Clarke trailed off when she noticed a curious little grin spread across Lexa's lips. "I'm shutting up now."

"Oh, no, please." Lexa drawled, arching her eyebrow at Clarke. "We were just getting to the best part."

Clarke worried her lip between her teeth, debating in her mind what to say next.

"Table five, C." Octavia called behind her, causing Clarke to jump in surprise.

"I've got this one," Lexa offered, walking over to the window to pick up the two plates Octavia had just put down. "I gotta learn, right?"

"I guess, but if it ever gets to much just let me know. You can take a break or something."

"I'm sure I will be fine," Lexa assured, rounding the counter and heading towards the booth labeled five.

"She's strange, that one." Clarke jumped again when Octavia spoke, wheeling around to glare at the girl.

"Would you stop that,"

"What?" Octavia asked innocently, resting her elbows on the windowsill.

"Sneaking up on me like that."

"I wasn't sneaking you were just to distracted by the new girl to pay any attention to anyone else." Octavia shrugged, "You have had some weird crushes in your time, Griffin, but a pregnant girl? That's new."

"I don't have a crush on her, she's just pretty." Clarke huffed.

"Yes, well, just pretty doesn't turn someone into a blabbering mess." Octavia scoffed, and Clarke frowned when Octavia stood up ramrod straight but she immediately understood when someone spoke behind her.

"Hey, Griffin, how about some coffee?"

Clarke grinned knowingly at Octavia before turning around to look at Raven who was still dressed in greasy overalls that was tied around her waist, her pale white T was also covered in oils and grease. She had grease and oil smeered all over her face but her hands seemed to have been cleaned. "Coming right up,"

"Hey," Raven smiling at Octavia as they sat down and Clarke glanced back at Octavia to see the girl sporting a bashful little smile.

"Hey,"

"How has your day been?" Raven asked, resting her dirty arms on the counter, only to have then batted away by Clarke.

"Fine, I had spent all of in here."

"You work too much," she commented, her eyes following Lexa as she walked past, a confused frown on her face. "Who's the new girl?"

"That's Lexa," Clarke answered, setting a mug down in front of Raven and filling it up with coffee.

"And is she," Raven motioned towards her own belly.

"Pregnant? Yes," Clarke nodded, "Do you want any food?"

"No, thanks." Raven smiled, looking from Clarke to Octavia. "Are you busy?"

"No, I was actually just about to go on my break." Octavia said, glancing at Clarke for conformation.

Clarke nodded, waving her hand dismissively. "Sure, go for it." Clarke turned to Raven and nudged her head in the direction of the kitchen. "You too, but don't touch anything, you're filthy."

Raven got up and headed into the kitchen, grabbing her coffee as she went.

"Is that the cook's girlfriend?" Lexa asked, coming up to stand beside Clarke.

"I don't know. They are always all coy around each other but neither one of them has mentioned anything." Clarke shrugged.

"Well, the cook sure seems to be into her?" Lexa commented.

"You have no idea," Clarke said with a little groan, reaching under the counter for her school books.

She could feel Lexa staring at her as she hope up onto one of the stools, setting her books on the counter.

"Your dad told me you tried to persuade him using your education." Lexa leant her elbows on the counter, turning Clarke's biology book towards her and opening it up at a random page. "I am so glad I'm not in school anymore."

"You don't go to school?" Clarke frowned, glancing up Lexa before returning her eyes to the question sheets she was pulling out of her little plastic sleeve.

"Nah, I dropped out when I got pregnant." Lexa shrugged nonchalantly, "School wasn't really for me, anyway. I was too much of a class clown."

"Do you think you will go back once you have the baby?" Clarke took the pencil off her ear and jotted down the heading of her question sheet.

"Nah,"

"Do you know?" Clarke pointed her pencil towards Lexa's stomach before rolling the end between her teeth. "If it is male or female."

"No, you don't find out until five months and I haven't been for the five month scan yet."

"When are you going?" Clarke asked, her eyes running over the first question on the work sheet.

"I haven't booked it yet,"

Clarke looked up at Lexa briefly through her eyelashes, still chewing on the top of her pencil. "You really should book that," Clarke murmured, scribbling down the answer to the question.

"What if your friends are having a quickie in the back?"

The pencil stalled on the page and Clarke lifted her head to look through the window into the kitchen. A thoughtful frowned appeared on her face for a few seconds then she was shaking her head. "No, they wouldn't."

"If you say so," Lexa nodded, a little grin on her lips as she walked around the counter to pick up the bill money left on one of the tables.

Clarke frowned to herself, "No," She whispered, returning her eyes to her homework.

* * *

 

Lexa seemed integrated into the diner surprisingly quickly, in Clarke's opinion. She was whizzing around the diner, at least as quickly as a pregnant woman could, within a week.

After her weeks probation Clarke's dad didn't hesitate to hire her full time, claiming that he would actually fire Clarke is she wasn't his daughter.

Clarke hoped he was joking.

They got along well, and with every passing day Clarke could feel Lexa's mask slip as she warmed up to Clarke. And Clarke, well, she was intrigued by Lexa to say the least.

Lexa got along well with Octavia and Raven too.

Bellamy, however, she didn't seem to have a lot of time for.

"Listen, newbie-"

"No, you listen; you've worked here longer, you know what you're doing, I respect that, but you are _not_  my boss, don't try and order me around." Lexa interrupted Bellamy, glowering at the boy before turning to grab food from the window and striding off.

Bellamy turned to look at Clarke, a look in his face that told Clarke he expected her to interject, give Lexa some give of warning.

Clarke didn't, she just grinned around the pen she was chewing on, shrugging her shoulders. "She's right, you aren't her boss, stop bossing her around, she doing her own thing and she's doing it well. Lay off."

Bellamy looked at Clarke incredulously.

"She's not gonna take your side, Belle, she's got a little crush." Octavia smirked, peaking out of the kitchen.

"Shut up, Blake," Clarke warned and Octavia laughed.

Bellamy grinned. "On a pregnant girl?"

"Shut up, other Blake." Clarke huffed, turning her attention back to her homework. "I hope you both enjoy job hunting, 'cause that's what you will both be doing if you don't get back to work."

Both of the Blake's laughed, Octavia slipping back into the kitchen and Bellamy went to clean tables.

* * *

 

Clarke noticed the guy about two weeks after Lexa had started.

It was late on a Saturday night and Clarke was, as much as she would denied it if anyone asked, watching Lexa as she wiped down the tables ready for closed. The diner was almost empty, save for a couple in the corner and the guy.

There was something shifty about the way his eyes were constantly on Lexa (And, sure, it was very hypocritical of Clarke to judge _anyone_  on how they were staring at Lexa but this was different. He was _leering_ , she was admiring.) and, judging by the way Lexa avoided his table like the bubonic plague, she knew him.

Clarke figured that maybe he was just an ex boyfriend or some old flame so she didn't think to much into it until the guy physically laid hands on Lexa.

"Hey, you can't just manhandle my staff like that!" Clarke snapped, catching both Lexa and the guy by surprise.

Both of their heads whipped around to look at her, Lexa sporting a look of surprised and the guy wearing a smug little grin as he lifted his hands up in mock surrounded. "Don't you worry about it, sweetheart. I was only having a talk with an old friend of mine."

Clarke looked from the guy to Lexa, raising her eyebrows questioningly. "Seriously, Clarke, don't worry about it."

Clarke licked her lips, giving Lexa a little nod before returning her eyes to the guy. "We are closing, I want you out of here in one minute."

"No problem," The guy grinned, raising to his feet and lowering his voice as he spoke to Lexa.

Clarke set about putting all the chairs on top of the tables but she kept a close eye on Lexa. To Clarke, the exchanges seemed to be confrontational, like maybe they were arguing about something, but the smug look on the guys face was telling her otherwise.

Clarke made her way over to Lexa when the guy headed for the door. "I will see you soon, Commander." He called back, smirking over at Clarke. "Hopefully you too, beautiful."

Clarke is scrunched her face up in disgust, waiting for the door to close behind him before she made her way over to the counter. "A friend of yours?" Clarke asked, sounded almost accusingly, turning to raise her eyebrows at Lexa.

"Something like that." Lexa murmured, untying her apron.

"Let me drive you home,"

Lexa chuckled and shook her head, sticking her apron under the counter and grabbing her bag. "I'll be fine, princess."

"He could be waiting out there for all we know," Clarke argued, giving Lexa her best pleading look. "I don't like him, Lexa, there's something funny about him."

"Are you worried about me?" Lexa teased but Clarke really wasn't in the mood to play along, it was late and she had no time today to study for the test she has on Monday.

"Yes, Lexa. I am worried about you."

Lexa looked thrown by Clarke's honest and seemed to understand that Clarke really wasn't in the mood to play games because she nodded. "Fine,"

"Good," Clarke huffed, digging her keys out of her apron before untying it and throwing it onto the counter. Lexa followed Clarke out of the diner, her eyes instantly landing on the car that was running just across the street. Clarke must have noticed it, too, because she gently took ahold of Lexa's bicep and lead her over to her dads pickup.

"Who is he?" Clarke asked once they were both settled inside her car, her eyes not leaving the guys car as he pulled away from the sidewalk and drove off.

"Just a guy I know,"

Clarke frowned, starting the car and turning to look at Lexa. "He's not going hurt you is he?"

"No, we were just talking. There's nothing to worry about."

"If you say so," Clarke muttered, shifting the car into drive and peeling away from the curb.

Clarke didn't speak to Lexa at all during the drive to her house, and the only time Lexa spoke was when she was giving Clarke directions.

"Thanks," Lexa murmured when they stopped outside her apartment building.

Clarke hummed, waiting for Lexa to leave the car, huffing and reluctantly turning to her when she didn't make any attempts to get out.

"How do you know he wont show up at your door tonight?"

"He doesn't know where I live, not anymore." Lexa answered, playing with her keys. "I used to live in Markham but my mom kicked me out when she found out I was pregnant so I used what little money I had to move here and, luckily, the landlord here was nice enough to offer me a place to stay. She even extended the time I have to pay rent until I have enough to pay."

"You don't need to tell me all this,"

"You gave me a job, you deserve to know."

"No, you don't owe me anything," Clarke assured, shutting off the car and turning in her seat to face Lexa.

"Well, now you know." Lexa shrugged, lifting her eyes to look at Clarke. "Thank you for driving me home."

"Any time,"

"I'll see you Monday," Lexa flashed Clarke a reserved smile before opening the door and stepping out.

"If you need a ride to work on Monday just let me know," Clarke offered, leaning across the centre panel to look up at Lexa.

"I'll be fine." Lexa promised, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lexa." Clarke said just before Lexa closed the car door.

Clarke waited until Lexa was inside her apartment building before she headed home.

* * *

 

 "Where are you two off to?" Lexa asked suggestively, eyeing Octavia and Raven as they headed out for the evening.

"We are going to see a movie," Octavia answered.

"It's almost midnight," Clarke frowned from her seat at the counter, burger in hand, her art project forgotten.

"It's the midnight showing of starwar," Raven explained.

"Raven is a big fan."

"And you will be, too, after this."

"You kids have fun, then." Clarke called as they left the diner. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Young love, huh?" Lexa sighed teasingly, stuffing her apron under the counter, eyeing Clarke's drawing. "That's amazing."

Clarke glanced down at the hyper-realistic drawing of a lion, flashing Lexa a smile. "Thank you." Clarke finished off her burger, wiping her hands on her jeans. "Do you maybe want to hang out tonight? You can even crash here since it's late."

"I can't, I'm kinda busy." Lexa said, throwing her jacket on.

Clarke knew she was lying, Lexa wasn't exactly the best liar, but she nodded anyway. "Ok, get home safe, then."

Lexa smiled at Clarke as she rounded the counter and left the diner without another word.

Clarke sighed, she had know Lexa was broken from the start, but she was beginning to realise that maybe she didn't really understand just how broken.

She turned her attention back to her project, rolling her eyes to herself when the bell above the door chimed. "We're closed."

"I'm not busy." Lexa admitted and Clarke spun around to look at her. "I'm not good with people, I don't make friends, people generally don't _want_  to be my friend, that's why this is weird to me."

"You don't have to be good with people, Lexa, I'm asking you to hang out that doesn't mean we have to talk, I just enjoy having you around."

"Yeah, that's why I'm dubious, no one likes having me around."

Clarke laughed quietly, shaking her head as she closed her sketchbook, clutching it against her chest. "Ok, well, call me crazy, but I _do_  like having you around." Clarke nudged her head toward the stairs, raising her eyebrows expectantly. "I've heard a lot about that Netflix show, the one about the murderer, why don't we go watch a couple of episodes?"

Lexa still looked unsure but nodded anyway, following Clarke through the back of the diner and up the stairs to her house.

"Is that you, Clarke?" A voice called when they pushed their way into the house.

"Yeah, mom, it's me." Clarke called back, kicking off her shoes and padding further into the house. A woman appeared at the door a few seconds later, her smile faltering when she noticed Lexa. Clarke ignored her, though, leading Lexa down the hallway toward her room. "You working tonight, mom?"

"No, the morning."

Clarke hummed, opening the door and motioning for Lexa to enter.

"Well, that was frosty."

"Mm," Clarke hummed again but didn't say anything else, sitting down on her bed with her back against the headboard.

"Judging human emotion isn't exactly my forte but even I can tell that wasn't good." Lexa kicked off her shoes and sat down beside Clarke, one of her hands instinctively resting on her stomach. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Clarke shrugged nonchalantly, pulling her laptop out from the side of her bed.

"Ok," Lexa said. "I mean, I don't believe you but ok."

Clarke smiled, "Can I get you anything?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Ok, then, let's get started."

It was two episodes before Lexa fell asleep and three and a half before Clarke did, the laptop still perched precariously on her lap and Lexa slumped against her side.

That became a weekly thing for them to do.

After work every Friday they would head upstairs to Clarke's room and watch a couple of hours of Netflix before they fell asleep.

Then on the Saturday they would head down to the diner for breakfast, always receiving suspicious and smug looks from who ever was working (be it Bellamy, Jasper, Octavia or Monty. Sometimes Raven if she happened to be visiting Octavia).

They both ignored them, however, and ate breakfast. Clarke heading back up stairs to get ready and Lexa heading home once they were done.

It was a good system, they didn't talk much, which was alright with both of them, and both of them got to have a little break away from their lives. Clarke's life of applying for colleges, and trying to keep straight A's and a high GPA, and Lexa's life of being a pregnant seventeen year old.

It was fine, at least for the first six weeks. Clarke cursed herself for getting attached, for craving _more_  from Lexa other than the times they spent at work (which was surprisingly nice, considering it was work) and the weekly Netflix night.

Sometimes she thought that, _maybe_ , Lexa was feeling the same. Sometimes Clarke would catch Lexa watching her (only to have the girl look away hastily when she noticed) and during their Friday nights it looked like Lexa wanted to talk but decided against it last minute.

She decided the best course of action was no action.

Lexa was thankful that she didn't see Roan again over the next two month. What she wasn't as thankful for, though, was how close of any eye Clarke kept on her since that night. And, god, as much as Lexa tried to keep her distance, Clarke had wormed her way under her skin.

Clarke was goofy and cute and far to caring for her own good. She carried herself with so much confidence yet still managed to make it clear that she didn't take herself too seriously. Lexa found herself grinned after almost every interacting with Clarke, and that was a bad sign.

"Hey there, Woods."

Lexa stalled mid-step, her heart dropping into her stomach at the voice. She tried to walk away without even looking at him but there was a hand roughly gripping onto her wrist, stopping her.

"Ah ah," Roan said, standing up so he was towering over her. "You owe me money, Lexa. You either pay up or you pay me in," the boy smirked, twirling a strand of Lexa's hair. " _Other_  ways."

Lexa swallowed, leaning back away from him, attempting to wriggle her hand out of his grip but that only resulted in him tightening his fingers.

"Lex," Lexa startled, spinning around to look at Clarke who was eyeing Roan. "You're needed in the back."

"This isn't over, Woods, you owe me and I will get what I'm owed. One way or another." Roan whispered against Lexa's ear, his eyes training on Clarke as he bit his lip. "Maybe _she_  could be my way of payment. She is _fine_."

"You stay away from her," Lexa warned and a sleazy smirk pulled its way onto Roan's lips.

"Ah, I see how it is." Roan winked at her as he backed away. "Maybe I could watch."

Lexa snarled at him, turning to head towards the kitchen once the door closed behind him.

"Who _is_  that, Lexa?"

"No one, I've already told you." Lexa answered in a clipped voice, walking straight past Clarke and into the kitchen.

"That isn't no one. What was he saying to you?"

"Nothing," Lexa hissed, levelling her eyes on Octavia. "What is it?"

"I need you to work in the kitchen tonight. I have somewhere to be, Jasper is busy and god knows Clarke can't cook."

"Whatever, it's not like it complicated." Lexa waved her hand dismissively, ignoring the offended look Octavia gave her.

Lexa left the kitchen, rolling her eyes at the sound of extra footsteps behind her.

"Tell me who it was or I will go after him and find out,"

Clarke slid to a halt when Lexa whirled around, a serious look on her face as she pointed at Clarke. "You stay away from him, ok? Do _not_  get involved. And if he ever comes in don't talk to him, understood?"

"What- is he?" Clarke nodded down to Lexa's stomach.

"No, Clarke. And that is none of your business, either. Don't meddle in this. Your whole Nancy Drew thing is adorable but this isn't Octavia's love life or where Bellamy goes every Thursday afternoon. This is serious, he could really hurt you." Lexa whispered, lowering her head a little so Clarke could hear her.

"And what about you?"

"I'm dealing with it. He's not going to hurt me."

"That's not the vibe I have been getting." Clarke shot back. "I can help, tell him to back off."

Lexa huffed out a condescending laugh, turning to leave but only got half way before she turned back to Clarke. "You think he's scared of you? Clarke, there are puppies scarier than you."

"My dad then." Clarke offered desperately. "Come on, Lex, we're friends."

"No. No, no." Lexa held up her finger, shaking her head. "You are my boss, my life outside of here is none of your business. I am none of your business."

Clarke recoiled, looking wounded by Lexa's words, her eyes dropping to the ground for a few seconds and when she looked back up at Lexa her face was set. "He came into here, during your work hours, that _makes_  it my business, correct?"

Lexa grinned. "You've got a little," Lexa snapped her teeth together. "Bite when you're angry, don't'cha, princess?"

"I'm trying to look out for you."

"I don't need you too."

"Everyone needs someone to help them out, Lex."

"Just _leave_  it, Clarke, please." Lexa pleaded, "This is my way of looking out for you, ok? He is trouble, he will hurt you and I would hate myself if I was the reason you got hurt."

"Why would you want to look out for me? I'm only your boss?" Clarke sniped.

Lexa stared at her, her jaw tensing as she decided whether she wanted to justify that was an answer or if she should just walk away and get back to work.

She decided to do both, murmuring, "And I thought you were clever," as she walked away.

They didn't speak for the remainder of their shift, which wasn't to awkward as Lexa was in the kitchen for most of it, but Clarke really couldn't let Lexa leave mad.

"Lex,"

Lexa stopped midway to the door, her jacket halfway on. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to look out for you."

Lexa sighed, her head dropping as she pulled on her jacket. She took a breath before turning to look at Clarke. And Clarke was surprised when she noticed Clarke was sporting a soft smile.

"It's fine. And you know you aren't just my boss, right?"

Clarke smiled and nodded. "Does he scare you?"

"No,"

"I think maybe he should, he doesn't seem nice."

"Good luck with that project tomorrow, ok?" Lexa smiled, giving Clarke's arm a little squeeze before turning on her heels and heading out the door.

* * *

 

The next Roan showed up at the diner it was Lexa's night off.

He glanced around the diner, looking for Lexa but grinned when his eyes settled on Clarke.

"What do you want?" Clarke asked when he sat at the counter across from her.

"Lexa, but she's clearly not here, so maybe you could give me her address."

Clarke chuckled sarcastically, slamming the cash register closed and turning to the boy. "Not a chance."

The boy nodded, he obviously knew she wouldn't give him the address. "See, we have a problem, then. Because Lexa owes me money, and her first payment was supposed to be today."

"How much does she owe you?"

"Two fifty. Plus interest."

"So, three hundred would settle it?"

Roan grinned as he watched Clarke open the register again, his head cocking to the side curiously. "You're going to settle her debt?"

"Is three hundred good or not, asshole?"

"Three hundred would settle it."

Clarke pulled out money and began counting it.

"Has she told you what it is for? Why she owes me money?" The man asked, resting her arms on the counter as he peered over the counter, watching Clarke as she counted.

"No," Clarke answered shortly.

"And you are willing to fork out money to bail her out when you don't even know what you're bailing her out of?"

"I trust her,"

"Hm," The man hummed, "Lexa used to be fun, I'm telling you that. Every weekend Lexa would be..."

"Here's your money," Clarke thrusted the money into his hand, pointing at the door. "Now, leave. And don't bother coming back or bothering Lexa again."

"I have no reason to come back now," Roan said, counting out the money Clarke had just handed him, smiling smugly. "You should ask Lexa about the person she used to be back before she got herself knocked up."

Clarke crossed her arms over her head, giving Roan an unimpressed look.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, beautiful." Roan winked sleazily at Clarke.

Clarke felt like her skin was crawling as she watched him leave, glancing at the clock to see she only had half an hour left before closing.

* * *

 

Clarke was exhausted after school the next day, having no slept much thinking about her encounter with Roan.

Honestly, she just wanted to get home and nap but that didn't look like it was going to happen when she opened the door to the diner and Lexa was in front of her in a second.

"What did you do?" Lexa growled.

Clarke startled, her eyes wide in surprise. "What?"

"Roan came by today," Lexa hissed as she followed after Clarke as she made her way toward the back. "You _paid_  him?"

"He was hassling you."

"Clarke, why the fuck did you pay him? I was working on it."

"Obviously not fast enough." Clarke snapped, wheeling around to look at Lexa when they got to the kitchen. "He looked angry, I was worried for you."

Lexa's face softened. "You don't have to worry about me, Grif, it's my past, my problem."

"It doesn't have to be just your problem, though." Clarke sighed. "You're not alone anymore."

Lexa licked her lips, shaking her head as she ran her fingers through her hair. "You can't do that."

Clarke frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Care. I'm poison."

"Well, I do care, there's nothing I can do about that now."

"You're going to end up hurt." Lexa stated.

"You don't know that,"

"You're ridiculously stubborn sometimes." Lexa huffed, rolling her eyes fondly.

Clarke grinned. "I need to go for a nap before work, we still on for tonight?"

"Of course, it's Friday."

__

* * *

 

They got even closer after that.

Clarke would accompany Lexa to her doctors visits (which, it turned out, Lexa hasn't actually been to a doctors visit and reluctant agreed to go visit Clarke's mom once a month for a check up) and they began spending most weekends together.

Those weekends mostly consisted of Netflix but, every so often, they would actually talk.

Clarke would talk about how she and her mom had never really been close since she caught her cheating on her father a few years back, and her fears over university and not being good enough to actually get into medical school.

Lexa wasn't much of a talker, but she did tell Clarke about her life before pregnancy. The drugs, the three day long parties, the drinking, the hooking up with girls and guys she didn't even know. It was obvious to Clarke Lexa got into a lot of trouble before she moved away.

There was numerous 'near missed' too. Times were Clarke really thought Lexa was going to kiss her or times that Clarke almost kissed Lexa.

One of the first was a Friday night, before they headed upstairs. They had both tired themselves out cleaning the diner and had decided to lie down on the curved benches of the corner booths.

Their temples pressed together as Clarke complained about having to spend money to apply for university and how it was all backwards and that she was going to be in debt for the rest of her miserable life.

She stopped talking, though, when she realised Lexa had turned on to her front and had pushed herself up onto her elbows. She was staring down at Clarke with a fond smile, her eyes moving from Clarke's lips to her eyes and then back again.

"What?" Clarke whispered, mirroring Lexa's position.

Lexa shook her head lightly, her eyelashes fluttering at she stared at Clarke's lips. "Nothing, you're just really cute when you're angry."

Clarke smiled lightly, and she swore Lexa was leaning towards her before the diner door rattled open and Clarke shot up to see a frazzled Octavia.

"Sorry, forgot my..." Octavia trailed off, eyeing both the girls. "Am in interrupt something?"

"No," Clarke huffed grumpily. "Just get whatever you forgot so I can lock up.

There was a couple more like that but they never really came to anything, which was frustrating Clarke to no end.

It was a month before Lexa's due date and the girl was constantly irritable, which Clarke could completely understand, so she decided to take Lexa up to the roof of their building to relax.

"Do you think I should tell my mom once I have the kid?" Lexa asked after an hour of lying on their backs, staring up at the cloudy sky.

"Do you want to?"

"No,"

"Then don't." Clarke answered simple. "Do you want to talk about her?"

"You don't want to hear about my mommy issues."

"I don't mind, so long as you want to talk about them."

"Is this why you brought me up here to 'stargaze' on one of the cloudiest nights in weeks?" Lexa asked with a laugh. "To talk about my issues?"

"You brought it up and I didn't know it was going to be cloudy tonight." Clarke huffed. "And no, thats not what this is about. I just wanted to take you mind off of everything."

"You mean the fact that I look like a whale and my back hurts and my feet are swollen. Well, I'm sorry, Griff, but a cloudy sky and the inevitable probability of being drowned by the rain at any time isn't going to make me feel any better."

"Just think about it like this," Clarke started, staring up at the clouds above them as Lexa picked up her hand and began fiddled with her fingers. "In a few weeks won't feel like your back in breaking anymore."

"But I'm probably going to get the kid taken off me anyway, right? A kid can't look after a kid."

"Why'd you have to keep doing that?" Clarke sighed, letting her head fall to the side to look at Lexa. "Can't you just admit when something is good?"

Lexa licked her lips, mirroring Clarke's position, smiling softly at the girl. "You're good."

A little smile fought its way onto Clarke's lips as a curious look stretched across her face. "I'm sorry, what?"

Lexa tutted, returning her eyes to the sky. "You heard me."

"I didn't. Would you mind repeating it?" Clarke grinned, turning on her front and looking down at Lexa.

Lexa gently swatted at Clarke's arm, leaving her hand on the cool skin as she tried to look anywhere but Clarke. "I said you're good." Lexa repeated, softer this time, as she settled her eyes on Lexa. "You look after me and you don't do it because you want something from me, like everyone else does, you just do it cause it's in your nature to be nice."

Clarke smiled down at Lexa, giving her shoulders a little shrug. "You aren't terrible to look after. Stubborn but not terrible."

Lexa huffed out a laugh, watching her hand as she skimmed her finger tips along Clarke's cold arm, over her shoulder and round to the back of her neck.

"I feel like this counts as taking advantage somehow." Clarke commented when Lexa softly pulled her closer but she didn't make any attempt to fight her.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Clarke gave Lexa a little shake of her head, smiling as Lexa pushed herself up onto her elbow.

"So I can kiss you?"

"Definitely," Clarke agreed, bracing her hand on Lexa's forearm as their lips touched.

It was tentative at first, cautious and oh so sickeningly sweet that Clarke was surprised that 'tough as nails' Lexa didn't pull back and scoff at the whole situation.

She didn't, of course, but she did pull Clarke in closer, tilting her head up slightly and parting her lips to deepen the kiss, which Clarke readily accepted.  
  
They kissed for a couple of minutes before Lexa pulled back.

"Uh, Clarke," Lexa murmured, gently pushing at Clarke's shoulder. "Either it had started to rain or my water just broke."

Clarke shot up onto her knees almost at quickly as her eyebrows arched in surprise. "Your- Are you sure? You aren't due for another month. Maybe you just peed yourself."

Lexa looked at Clarke incredulously. "I didn't piss myself, Clarke."

"Oh, ok. Um, we should..." Clarke trailed off.

"Hospital," Lexa helped, arching her eyebrows at Clarke.

"Yes. Yeah, that's a great idea." Clarke scrambled to her feet, reaching out to grab onto Lexa's forearm and help her up.  
  
Lexa laughed, pulling Clarke's attention away from her stomach. "You need to relax."

"Relax?" Clarke squeaked. "You're having a _baby_!"

"Exactly. _I'm_ having a baby, not you."

Clarke nodded, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, allowing herself to fully understand what had just happened, her mind going into what Lexa liked to call 'study mode'. "Ok, I will go get my dad and we can go to the hospital.

* * *

 

It took, in total, around fifteen hours for Lexa to finally give birth to a tiny, but healthy little boy.

Clarke looked between Lexa and the baby that Lexa was cradling against her chest a few times before finally setting her eyes on Lexa. She was all sweaty and flushed, her hair all over the place and dark circles under her eyes and, God, Clarke has never seen something this beautiful before.

Lexa glanced up at her, doing a double take when she noticed Clarke was staring down at her. "What?"

"You did it." Clarke smiled, smoothing down Lexa's hair and kissing her glistening forehead. "You swore a lot, threatened to kill me twice and nearly broke my hand but you did it."

Lexa laughed, returning her eyes to the little boy in her arms. "He's tiny. I'm scared to hold him to tightly incase I hurt him."

"I know it sucks to think about this but social serviced will be here soon." The nurse interrupted, giving Lexa a sympathetic smile. "Have you thought about what you want to do?"

Clarke glanced at Lexa before looking back at the nurse. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure,"

Clarke waiting for the nurse to leave before she run her hand over Lexa's hair. "What are you thinking?"

"Do you think I could do it? Keep him?" Lexa whispered, her eyes not leaving the baby that was in her arms.

"I think you can do anything," Clarke answered. "But you need to remember that he is another human being. It will take _a lot_  to look after him. A lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of patience. You won't have a life, you won't sleep much, you will worry. _A lot._ "

"Jeez, princess, way to scare a girl." Lexa chuckled nervously.

"This is something I can't sugarcoat for you, Lex. This isn't a decision you can take lightly."

"I think I want to keep him."

"You think,"

"I do," Lexa said definitively. "I'm keeping him."

"Thank god," Clarke sighed, "I thought for a second there you were going to give him up."

"Well, you didn't exactly help, scaring me like that."

"You're going to do great, Lexa." Clarke spoke softly, tentatively ghosting her fingertips down the cheek of the little boy in Lexa's arms.

Lexa smiled up at Clarke, looking like she was about to say something but her eyes moved to movement over Clarke's shoulder, her bright smile dampening.

"Lexa Woods?"

Clarke glanced back to see a woman standing there. She must have been in her mid to late fifties with thick rimmed glasses and a ring binder clutched to her chest.

"Yeah?"

"My name is Claire, I'm from social services, I'm here to talk to you about what you want to do with that little one." The woman smiled, walking a little further into the room, giving Clarke a quick sideways glance before looking back at Lexa. "I would prefer to speak to you alone."

"She stays," Lexa said definitively.

"If you insist," the woman hummed, moving to take up Clarke's space when the blonde moved to sit down.

It took everything in Clarke not to interject when the woman was talking about how difficult it would be to look after a baby at seventeen and how Lexa probably wouldn't be able to deal with it. She spent a good ten minutes tearing Lexa down but by the end Lexa told her straight that she was keeping the kid, the her wouldn't be any better off getting lost in the foster system.

The woman eventually left when Lexa complained about being tired.

Clarke gave her a quick, reassuring kiss on her forehead before taking the baby from her, allowing her to sleep.

"Don't you listen to what that mean woman said," Clarke said in a low, baby voice, gently taking ahold of the babies tiny hand and slowly shook it from side to side. "Your mama is going to take real good care of you."

Clarke watched, smiling as the baby yawn, his arms stretching out in front of his and his little fingers splaying out. Clarke was tired, too, it had been to hours since Lexa had fallen asleep and Clarke had spent all of that staring down at the brand new human in her arms.

"She is young but she loves you, she wont let anyone hurt you, not ever. She is kind of protective, sometimes a little over protective, she will keep you safe." Clarke gently rocked the baby, picking up the pacifier that had just fallen out of his mouth and popped it back in. "And I will, too. I promise."

"Clarke," Clarke glanced over her shoulder at her dad, who was standing in the doorway. "You should go home and get a shower, change your clothes."

"Are you saying I stink?" Clarke asked, gently stroking down the babies nose when he started to stir, it was something her dad used to do to her growing up to get her to sleep.

"I'm saying you haven't showered in two days." Jake corrected.

"I just don't want to leave her, not with how the social worker acted." Clarke explained, looking back at her dad. "What if she comes back and convinces her to get rid of him. She doesn't want that, dad, but she's scared. She may do it out of fear."

"I will stay if you want me too."

"Yeah, could you?" Clarke stood up slowly, gently rocking the boy in her arms as she walked over to the crib beside Lexa's bed, shushing him as she settled him into his crib.

"No problem," the man agreed, smiling over at his daughter. "You always have been good with kids."

Clarke flashed her father a smile and accepted the truck keys he was holding out to her. "If she wakes up tell her I will be back in a hour."

"I'm sure she will cope that long without you." Jake teased gaining a tired laugh from Clarke

\---

When Clarke entered Lexa's room after getting back from showering Lexa was awake and sitting up in bed, the baby in her arms.

"Hey," Clarke announced as she walked into the room, wiggling the little stuffed animal she was carrying when Lexa looked up at her. Clarke walked over and handed Lexa the stuffed animal. It was a dog with sad, droopy eyes and large, floppy ears. "I got this a few weeks ago, his name is loppylugs."

Lexa smiled down at the toy, shuffling a little to the side to give Clarke room to sit on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Clarke asked as she sat down on the bed, gently skimming her fingers down the babies arm.

"I was thinking Nathaniel." Lexa said like she hadn't even heard Clarke.

"Nathaniel," Clarke repeated. "I like it."

Lexa nodded, tilting her head to look up at Clarke. "You remember we kissed, right?"

Clarke laughed and nodded. "I do, yes."

"I mean, I know it induced labour but it was nice."

"It was," Clarke agreed, leaning over to press a quick kiss to the tip of Lexa nose.

"And the whole giving birth thing didn't put you off?"

"Are you kidding?" Clarke frowned. "I love having my life threatened because it was me who 'got you in this mess'."

Lexa laughed, resting her head on Clarke's shoulder. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"That's alright, it was understandable, all things considered." Clarke assured, patting Lexa's thigh. "When can you get out?"

"Later today, I think."

"I'll drive you home," Clarke assured.

Lexa didn't actually get out until the next morning, which was fine, Raven and Octavia came to visit her and Clarke just camped on the little chair beside her bed until she was given the OK to go home.

"I will run out and get you some things, I know you weren't really prepared."

"I just need dippers and stuff to bathe him with."

"Are you breastfeeding him?" Clarke asked distractedly, setting up the Moses basket for Nathaniel to go in to.

"Yeah,"

"Do you have the proper stuff for that?" Clarke questioned, stepping aside to allow Lexa near the basket. "You know, breast pumps, nurses bra?"

"How do you  _know_ about all of this?"

"Research," Clarke shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. "And I will take that answer as a no, I will go do some shopping."

Clarke turned to leave but stopped when Lexa gently took ahold of her wrists.

"Hey," Clarke turned at the soft voice, smiling when Lexa's hand hooked around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. "Thank you, for everything."

"You really don't have to thank me. Though, if this is _how_  you will be thank me, it is definitely welcome." Clarke grinned playfully, "but not necessarily."

Lexa grinned, quickly pecking Clarke on the lips before taking a step back.

"I will see you in a little while,"

Clarke headed to Walmart, picking up everything she needed along with a couple of little onesies and a U-pillow for Lexa to use while she was feeding Nathaniel.

"How cute is this?" Clarke announced as she entered Lexa's house, holding up the little starwars onesie with BB-8 on it. She stopped in the doorway when she noticed Lexa sitting on her bed, staring down at her phone. "You ok?"

Lexa's head snapped up to look at her, a blatantly fake smile pulling its way onto her lips. "Yeah, just an old friend," Lexa held up her phone before throwing it onto her bed, smiling at the onesies Clarke was holding. "You are such a nerd."

"BB-8 is adorable, Lexa." Clarke argued, setting the bags down beside Lexa's wardrobe. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, Clarke, you've been gone for an hour." Lexa laughed, sounding almost nervous.

Clarke decided not to ask, instead she took a seat on the bed beside Lexa and pulled out the girls favourite pasta pot. "Figured your be hungry."

Lexa smiled and Clarke was surprised when her eyes welled up with tears.

"Or... not?" Clarke frowned.

"No, no, it's great." Lexa assured, sniffing as she flashed Clarke a smile. "You just make me ridiculously happy and- and I love you."

Clarke's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Are you drunk?"

"No, I just wanted you to know." Lexa shrugged.

"Why? What's going on?"

"Nothing. God, can't I just tell you how I feel." Lexa snapped, jumping to her feet but instantly regretted it when a sharp pain shot through her stomach.

"Easy, Lex, you just gave birth." Clarke sighed, getting to her feet and taking ahold of Lexa's hands. "I'm sorry. I love you, too."

"Don't feel obliged to say it,"

Clarke huffed out a laugh, gently pulling Lexa toward her. "I'm not," she spoke softly, pressing a lingering kiss to Lexa's lips. "You should get a nap in while he is out, you probably won't get many opportunities like this."

Lexa agreed and fell asleep almost instantly, her forehead pressed against Clarke's upper arm.

Nathaniel began to stir about an hour later. Clarke decided not to wake Lexa and instead slid out of bed slowly.

"Hey, little man," Clarke cooed, gently rubbing the baby's belly. "What's got you all fidgety?"

The baby's head lolled from side to side, a little mewl escaping his lips.

Clarke smiled softly, picking up the little boy and rocking him in an attempt to ease whatever was irritating him. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing?" Clarke hummed. "You are so little, how are you even functioning?"

A little cry escaped the boy and he began wriggling more.

"Sh, I know, buddy. Let's go into the living room, hm? Give your mama a little longer to sleep."

Nathaniel settled down after a few minutes of pacing and rocking, and fell back asleep after about a half hour of blinking and yawning.

Clarke sat for most of the night with the baby cradled in her arms, until she realised she had to go open the diner.

She groaned as she stood up, heading back into the room.

"Lexa?" She whispered when she settled Nathaniel into the basket. "Hey, I need to go to work."

Lexa groaned, rolling over to peer up at Clarke. "Hey,"

Clarke smiled softly. "Hey there, how are you feeling?"

"Rested."

"I gotta go, duty calls. But I will come and see you tonight."

Lexa didn't answer, instead pulled Clarke in for a kiss. Clarke braced her hands either side of Lexa's head, getting a little to caught up in the kiss before she remembered she had to be at work in half an hour.

"I really have to go," Clarke laughed, reluctantly pulling away from Lexa.

Lexa sighed and nodded solemnly.

"I'll see you soon," Clarke pecked her on the lips again before making her way toward the door.

"Hey," Lexa called, waiting for Clarke to look at her before she spoke again. "I love you, don't doubt that."

Clarke frowned in confusion, she wanted to ask what the hell was going on but decided she would do it later.

"I won't. I love you, too."

Lexa flashed her a tight lipped smile.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, Clarke. You'd better run."

"If you say so," Clarke left after that, feeling dead on her feet as she opened the diner and completed her shift.

* * *

 

 "Shouldn't you be going to bed?" Raven asked, eyeing Clarke as she pulled on her jacket and headed for the door.

"I'm gonna go over to Lexa's, make sure she's doing ok."

"Someone's whipped," Octavia said in a sing-song, laughing when Clarke stuck her middle finger up at her.

"I'll see you guys later,"

Clarke made her way over to Lexa's, rapping her knuckles tiredly on the door when she got there.

She waited, about half a minute before she knocked again, louder this time.

After another minute Clarke was starting to get worried, Lexa shouldn't be taking this long to answer the door.

"Lexa?" She called, banging her fist on the door. "Lex, come on, open up."

"Hey, lady?" A voice snapped and Clarke whirled around. Her eyes landed on a gruff, tired looking middle-aged man. "You Griffin?"

"Yeah?"

"Kid next door told me to give you this. Now keep it down, yeah? Some of us are on the night shift." The man grumbled, shoving a piece of paper into Clarke's hand before moving back into his apartment, slamming the door as he went.

Clarke frowned down at the folded piece of paper that had 'Clarke Griffin' scrawled across the front.

Clarke _knew_  this was going to be bad, why else would Lexa leave her a letter?

' _Clarke,_

_First I need you to know that everything is said last night was true, you do make me happy and I do love you and that is the reason I'm doing this. I got a call from my sister yesterday and she offered to take me in so ~~I'm leaving~~  I have left and I'm probably not going to be coming back. You are going to college next year and me being around with Nathaniel will only distract you. You can deny it but I know you would put your life on hold to look after us and I can't let you do that._

_I hope you get everything from life you ever wanted and thank you for everything you have done for me. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you, I was planning of giving the baby away once I had it but you made me realise I had what it takes to look after him._

_I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you in person but I knew if I did I wouldn't have had it in me to leave. I love you and I will be forever grateful to you for all you've done for me._

_Love, Lexa'_

Clarke leant back against the wall with a thump, her hand gripping tightly onto paper in her hand as she tried to comprehend what was happening.

Lexa was gone, she _left_. Clarke wouldn't see her again, she wouldn't see Nathaniel again and that fucking hurt.

She felt tears well in her eyes be instead of letting them fall she sniffed, wiping at her eyes and tried to compose herself for the drive home.

She made her way down to her car, digging her phone out of the cup holder and called Lexa's number. She wasn't surprised when it went straight to voicemail.

Clarke threw her phone into the passenger seat and let her head fall against her steering wheel. She sat there for another five minutes, trying her best to compose herself before turning on her car and driving, slightly dazed, to the diner.

"Clarke, table five needs serving." Bellamy said when she walked into the diner, catching Clarke's attention and pulling her out of her daze.

"So deal with it."

"Hey, you ok?" Raven asked, a concern little frown appearing on her face. "You were going to see Lexa, right? Is she ok? Is the baby?"

"She's gone,"

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Raven frowned, gently taking ahold of Clarke's upper arm and leading her into the back.

"Hey, is everything ok?" Octavia asked, setting one of the patties on a burger roll.

"Lexa left," Clarke whispered, more to herself then Raven and Octavia. "She's gone, went to live with her sister."

"She just left? Just like that?"

"She couldn't even say goodbye, she wrote me a fucking letter." Clarke snapped, blinking a few times. "We need to hire someone to take her place."

"Clarke, that doesn't matter right now." Octavia sighed, "Are you ok? We know how much she meant to you."

"I'm fine, I, um-" Clarke trailed off, quickly standing up and running her hand through her hair. "I have a diner to run."

"No, you have a bed to get to." Octavia interjected and Raven grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving.

"Don't make me physically drag you up stairs, C."

"I don't-" Clarke sniffed again, shaking her head. "I don't want to be alone, I don't want to have time to THINK."

"Ok, then, I'll come up with you." Raven offered, glancing at Octavia for confirmation that that was a good idea. "We can have a movie night, 'Tavia can join us after her shift."

"Yeah, a good old girls night." Octavia said, giving Clarke a weak smile.

Clarke accepted, though it was pretty much the last thing she wanted to be doing at this point in time.

She waited for Lexa to called her, she even tried to call her a few times but gave up after a week of getting her voicemail. She waited for Lexa to come back but, after two months, she figured she probably never would.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa meet again five years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is going to be in three parts I think. Thank you for all the lovely comments on the last chapter, it was really nice : )

"I don't care how much it costs Raven, just get it done, please. I can not get the train to work again." Clarke sighed, trapping her phone between her ear and shoulder as she placed her instant noodles and instant coffee into a plastic bag.

"It's not the money that's the problem, Clarke. It was time frame, to get it done for tomorrow if have to pull an all nighter and I can't do that, not tonight. Octavia wants us to go look at venues for the wedding." Raven huffed. "She's fucking crazy, Clarke, bridezilla. I'm beginning to think her looks aren't worth it."

Clarke laughed, "You love Octavia, don't pretend you don't."

"I suppose." Raven huffed. "I will try my best, C, but it probably won't be ready until tomorrow night."

"Ok, thanks Raven." Clarke sighed. "Good luck tonight."

"I'm gonna need it," Raven grumbled and hung up the phone.

Clarke chuckled to herself, sliding her phone into her pocket and making her way toward the exit.

She jumped when she felt someone run into her legs. She looked down to see a little boy staring up at her apologetically. He must've been about five years old, his dark brown hair sticking up at all angles and his dark green eyes stared up at her in awe. there was something very familiar in those eyes, about the _look_  in his eyes.

"Sorry, ma'am." He apologised.

"Don't worry about it, buddy." Clarke smiled, glancing around, looking to see if there was an adult with him. "Do you have an adult with you?"

"Yeah, my mommy said I can keep whatever candy I can pick up before her finds me."

"Well, you better get going," Clarke smiled, nudging her head in the direction of the shelves. "Talking to me isn't going to get you a lot of candy."

"Clarke?" Clarke froze at the voice. No, it couldn't be, it had five years and they were in a completely different state.

"Mommy, no. I hardly had enough time." The boy huffed and Clarke lifted her eyes from the boy to look at the woman in front of her.

"Lexa,"

"Mommy, can I have a little more time, please?" The boy tugged at his moms sleeve, pulling the dazed woman's eyes down to look at him.

"Um, yeah, I will give you a couple of minutes." Lexa smiled down at the boy whose eyes widened before he ran off.

"Is that Nathaniel?"

"Yeah,"

"Jeez, that makes me feel old," Clarke said with a nervous laugh.

"What are you doing in New York?"

"I went to Columbia university, decided to do my residency at the local hospital. Octavia and Raven are here, too, Octavia opened her own restaurant and Raven is co-owner of a garage in Manhattan." Clarke explained. "What about you?"

"My sister lives here. Well, in Queens."

"Oh," Clarke murmured because, really, what was she expected to say in this situation. She had thought about it before; seeing Lexa again, but like this, that was never one of the many situations she had thought about.

Lexa didn't seem to mind the fact Clarke didn't really have anything to say, she just stared over at Clarke with the same look she had five years ago (something similar to the smitten look Nathaniel had just given her). Well, that look mixed with something else? Regret, maybe? Clarke couldn't tell.

A loud crash startled both of them out of their dazes and the sound of a young child apologising had Lexa rolling her eyes. "I had better-" Lexa motioned in the general direction Nathaniel had run off in.

"Right, yeah. Of course." Clarke nodded can taking a step away from Lexa, even though she hadn't been all that close to her. "Bye, Lexa."

"It was good to see you again, Clarke."

Clarke gave Lexa a tight-lipped smile, making her way past Lexa and out of the shop.

It wasn't until she had been walking for five minutes before she realised Lexa was dressed in a police uniform. Of course Lexa was a police officer, Clarke wasn't even surprised by that.

Clarke walked in a little daze, not even realising she had taken a left to Raven's garage instead of a right home until she was met with a grinning Wick.

"Hey there, blondie."

Raven looked up from the car she was working on and Octavia, who was perched on Raven's work bench beside the mechanic, handing her tool whenever she requested them, looked up from the book she was reading.

"I didn't think we would be seeing you today."

"Yeah, it seems we are all seeing people we didn't think we would see." Clarke murmured, leaning against the bench beside Octavia.

"You ok there, princess?" Raven laughed, wiping her greasy hands on her grey tee. "You look a little zoned."

"I just ran into Lexa,"

"Lexa Woods?" Raven frowned.

"No, Lexa Stones," Octavia huffed. "Of course Lexa Woods, greaseball."

"And Nathaniel."

"Did she say anything?" Octavia asked.

"We spoke, kind of. She asked what I was doing in New York." Clarke huffed, running her hand through her hair. "I didn't think I was going to see her again."

"How was she looking? She used to be hot, right?" Raven asked, hissing in pain when Octavia punched her. "What?"

"Behave!"

"She looked like a police officer." Clarke said with a little frown.

"Huh, no surprised by that." Raven hummed, "Are you seeing her again?"

"Why would I?"

"Because she's Lexa," Octavia answered carefully.

"Yeah, but we aren't friends, I don't know who she is anymore."

"She's still the same person she was five years ago," Raven said.

"And you don't have to be anything more than friends with her but what you both had, Clarke, that was something people rarely find."

"That was five years ago, we are both different people now."

Raven scoffed. "Ok, Griffin, the only thing different with you is that you are slightly taller."

"And you now understand the importance of the sock on the doorknob when you are entertaining your _friends_." Octavia added and Raven hummed in agreement.

"I can't just-" Clarke sighed, running her hands over her face. She relaxed slightly when Octavia tentatively touched the back of her neck. "She just _left_ , guys. She left and didn't even say goodbye properly, I can't just forgive her for that."

"No one said anything about forgiving her, Clarke." Octavia said softly, giving her best friends shoulder a squeeze.

"Yeah, maybe just talk to her, go from there." Raven suggested.

"I don't think I can," Clarke ran her fingers through her hair. "She really hurt me when she left."

"We know, and we understand your reservations, Clarke, but you have to understand why she left."

Clarke arched her eyebrows at Raven. "I don't have to understand anything, Raven. She left me and she left me a fucking note to say goodbye. She let me fall in love with her, let me get attached to Nathaniel then just took off."

"She was-"

"Guys!" Octavia snapped, effectively cutting the worn out argument short. "Let's not do this. Again." Octavia gave Raven a warning look before looking back at Clarke. "Lexa left, that sucks, but this could be a second chance for you both. Not many people get that."

"We shouldn't have needed it." Clarke snapped, pushing herself away from the counter and heading for the door.

"You have to talk to her, Griffin."

"Bite me, Reyes." Clarke called over her shoulder as she left.

She crawled into bed when she got home, hoping to get some sleep after the double shift she had just endured and hoping to forget about the fact she had just ran into the only person she has ever truly loved.

It took her over three hours to fall asleep.  
  


* * *

 

__Clarke heard the front door open then click closed around eleven that night. It didn't take long for her own bedroom door to open and close and for the bed behind her to dip.

"I'm sorry for earlier." Raven whispered. "I know she hurt you, and I really want to beat her up for that, but maybe you could be happy if you spoke to her. You haven't _been_  happy for the past five years, Clarke."

"That's got nothing to do with Lexa, I've just been stressed. With university and now work, I haven't had time to show you that I'm happy."

"You don't have to _show_ me." Raven sighed and Clarke turned to face the mechanic. "I'm you best friend, Clarke, I know when you are unhappy. She made you happy back then, the happiest I had ever seen you. If she can get you out of this- whatever it is- I'm all for it."

"I'm ok, Raven." Clarke assured with a breathy laugh. "I'm not depressed or anything like that. I have genuinely just been busy. I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm extremely happy but I'm not extremely sad either."

"You'd tell us if you were. Depressed, I mean."

"I would, but I'm not. I'm sharing an apartment in Manhattan with my two best friend and I'm doing my dream job. I'm not unhappy, Raven."

"But you aren't happy, either."

 

"I will be, eventually.

 

Raven eyed Clarke through the dim light of the room before nodded. "Ok,"

"Ok. Now, where is that future wife of yours, I'm sure she wants in on this action."

Raven smiled, probably at Clarke calling Octavia her future wife. "'Tavia."

It took Octavia less than five seconds to enter the room, dressed a pair of sweats and one of Raven's old high school softball jerseys and carrying a bundle of clothes.

"Everything sorted?" She asked, throwing the clothes at Raven.

"Yeah, we're good."

"Good. Get changed, tonight we form a spooning konga line."

Clarke laughed and flipped over just as Octavia hopped onto the bed, wriggling under the covers and wrapping herself around Clarke.

"I could have been naked under here." She pointed out.

"And we and sorely disappointed that you aren't." Octavia shot back and Raven laughed as she got into bed, her arm stretching across her fiancée and her hand resting on Clarke's hip.

"Next time." Raven offered.

"Oh, for sure." Clarke retorted sarcastically.

"Score." Clarke didn't see Octavia and Raven high-5 but she heard it, causing her to roll her eyes fondly at her best friends.

* * *

 

She spent the next two weeks throwing herself into work in an attempt to not think about the fact Lexa was less than an hour away and she could easily find her just by going down to the local precinct and asking for her.

She had just gotten out of a surgery when her phone beeped. She reached into the pocket of her scrubs as she made her way sleepily towards the doctors quarters.

She frowned at the unknown number.

_'Hi, Clarke. I dropped by Raven's shop today and she gave me your number, I hope you don't mind. I was wondering if you maybe wanted to get together and talk. This is Lexa, by the way.'_

Clarke felt her chest burn with angry. After everything that had happened, after everything they had spoken about, Raven still thought it would have been OK to give Lexa her number.

Clarke stuffed her phone back into her scrubs, going to her locker to get her car keys and marching out to the parking lot.

She was in her lunch break, she should really use that to eat instead of driving down to Raven's garage.

"You gave her my number!" Clarke snapped as she entered the garage.

Raven startled at the sudden noise, her head knocking off the hood of the car she was half inside.

"Told you she'd be mad." Octavia said quietly, ignoring the glare Raven sent her.

"How could you? I told you I didn't want anything to do with her."

"Yeah, but you didn't really mean that."

"I didn't-" Clarke shook her head, looking at her best friends incredulously. "You have no idea what I mean and what I don't mean."

"We are your best friends, of course we do." Raven commented and Octavia hummed.

"You loved this girl, Clarke."

"Exactly; _loved_ , past tense. She has been out of my life for _five years_."

"Feelings like the ones you had for Lexa don't just go away, Clarke." Raven sighed, wiping her hands on her overalls and leaning back against the car.

"I know, I've had five years to get over the the feelings I had for her."

"So you are really over her?" Raven asked, sounding entirely unconvinced.

"Yes,"

"Ok, then I'm sorry I gave her your number." Raven held up her hands in defence. "I just thought-"

"No, Raven, you obviously didn't think. We've spoken about this and you still went behind my back and gave her my number."

"I'm sorry," Raven repeated, and she actually had the decency to look sorry.

"Just- don't do it again, ok? If she drops by again just tell her I don't want to see her."

"I don't think I'm comfortable doing that."

"You kind of voided you right to be uncomfortable after you have her my number, Raven." Clarke snapped, running her hand through her hair as she turned around and headed toward the door. "Maybe I will have just enough time to actually eat on my lunch break."

"She's kinda hot when she's angry," she heard Octavia comment as she left.

* * *

Lexa texted her again the next day, then the day after. She called twice, too, but after that she seemed to get the picture and stopped trying.

As much as Clarke didn't want anything to do with Lexa (she didn't, ok?) she felt that same feeling of emptiness she had felt when Lexa left the first time seep in again.

Raven and Octavia seemed to notice her change in mood because they crept into her bed late one night. They didn't talk about it, Raven just wrapped her arms around Clarke and murmured how sorry she was, and then they fell asleep.

Clarke honestly believed that Raven was sorry, but she also knew that this wasn't the last of it.

They asked her out for coffee during her dinner break one day, two weeks after Raven had given Lexa her number, they even promised to bring her a cheese burger, which Clarke was eternally thankful for.

At least she was until she entered the coffee shop and spotted Octavia and Raven sitting at a table with Lexa.

Clarke tensed her jaw, using every little shred of self restraint she had to not just march over to her best friends and tell them how shitty of a move this was.

She turned away before she did something she regretted, leaving the shop without looking back.

"Clarke," a voice called behind her just before she reached her car, causing her to stall in her movements, her hand hovering near the handle of her car door. "Clarke, please. Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Clarke turned to look at Lexa.

Lexa looked as exhausted as Clarke felt, her under eyes were shadowed and her eyelids drooping. She looked disheveled on her uniform, Clarke figured it must be the end of her shift.

"Clarke,"

The tone of her voice had Clarke's chest tightening, she sounded hurt, _broken_ , all of the things Clarke felt when Lexa left.

"What did you expect, Lexa? You _left me_. Did you expect to just slot yourself back into my life again like nothing happened?" Clarke frowned, trying not to raise her voice to avoid drawing the attention of passers by. "I can't let you do that, I won't let you do that."

"It wasn't easy for me either, Clarke."

"You don't get to feel hurt, Lexa. You made the choice to leave."

"You think that's what I wanted? Did you even read the letter?"

"Oh yeah, I read it. And, what? You really thought you were doing it for me? Lexa, we could've worked something out, _together_ , but you jut took off at the _first_  sign of trouble." Clarke snapped. "I guess it is kind of a good job you did, if that's what you do when things get tough then we wouldn't have lasted anyway."

"You might not think so but I did it for you. I wanted you to live your life the way a college student is supposed to, you couldn't have done that with a _baby_."

"I didn't _want_  that!" Clarke raised her voice slightly, quickly glancing around when she realise that she had. "I didn't want to live that stereotypical college life, I wanted you, and Nathaniel. I wanted to come home from university to you two, I wanted have cosy nights in with you both."

"It's not all sunshine and rainbows, Clarke. I had no money, every dime I had went to Nate, I rarely slept, I was up at all hours of the night to feed him, he would cry and cry and cry and sometimes I didn't know how to sooth him." Lexa narrowed her eyes at Clarke, almost challenging her to interrupt. "Now, imagine trying to do homework with a baby crying, going to class on no sleep for days on end, you probably wouldn't have been able to afford your textbooks. It wasn't easy, Clarke, I didn't want you to deal with that."

"I know it wouldn't have been easy, and props to you for doing it and getting a good job, for making something of yourself." Clarke offered Lexa a light lipped smile. "But I can't let you back into my life."

Lexa's throat bobbed but she didn't say anything when Clarke turned and got in her car.

She was surprised she actually made it back to the hospital safe, what with her vision blurred with the tears that had formed in her eyes. When she parked she let her head fall against her steering wheel, her hands gripping tightly onto the tough leather.

She didn't _need_  Lexa. She didn't _want_  Lexa. What she needed was best friends who didn't completely fuck with her emotions, what she needed was to yell at Raven Reyes and Octavia Blake. But that would have to wait until her shift was over.

* * *

Raven and Octavia seemed to be prepared for her, a cup of hot chocolate and her favourite candies waiting for her when she got home but Clarke ignored the peace offerings completely, slamming the living door closed as she narrowed her eyes at her best friends.

"Are you both fucking serious?" Clarke growled. "We talked about it, you apologised yet you still try and get Lexa and I together."

"We're trying to help." Raven offered.

"All you are doing is _hurting me_!" Clarke's voice cracked as she yelled, her breath leaving her lungs in a rattled huff. "Don't you guys realise what this is doing to me? I don't want to see her, it _hurts_  seeing her."

"It hurts because you aren't letting her in."

"Fuck you guys, ok? Stop pushing, I mean it this time." Clarke warned, anger flaring in her eyes as she stared at her best friends. "You pull something like this again and I'm done with you both."

"Clarke," Raven began to argue but stopped when Octavia placed a hand on her thigh.

"We won't, Clarke we're sorry."

"Yeah, a sorry from you guys is starting to mean nothing to me." Clarke ignored the hurt looks she received from her friends and heading into her room.

She laid in bed for a good four hours before she felt calm enough to get out of bed and head into Raven and Octavia's room.

Both girls were still awake, lying on their backs and staring at the ceiling.

"I'm not ready yet,"

Raven pushed herself up onto her elbows whole Octavia sat up completely. "Yet?"

" _Yet_." Clarke nodded once, "I'm not sure if I every will be, but I'm definitely not there now."

Octavia nodded, shuffling over to make room for Clarke in between her and Raven. "Come on, Blondie, let's have a Griffin sandwich."

Clarke rolled her eyes but climbed onto the bed anyway, squeezing herself in between her best friends, lying on her back, allowing Raven and Octavia to rest their heads on her shoulders.

"We want you to be happy."

"I know and I appreciate that, but I'll figure it out in my own time."

"Well hurry up about it, it hurts us seeing you sad."

"Do you guys always speak for each other?" Clarke teased.

"Sure," Octavia hummed, "we finish each other's-"

"Orgasms." Raven breathed sleepily, pulling a laugh from both Octavia and Clarke.

"Classy, Reyes."

* * *

  
Clarke focused even more on work after that, using it as a way of filling the void she was currently feeling in her chest. She was either at the hospital or sleeping, she didn't have time to feel anything.

Clarke was exhausted, she honestly couldn't wait for this particular shift to end and she could go home and sleep.

Of course it was just her luck that, ten minutes before her shift ended, there was a huge pileup on the highway.

There was a flood of patients after that, all with varying degrees of injures.

"Griffin, we need you over here!" Kane called and Clarke smiled reassuringly at the woman she had been treating, weaving her way through the chaos to the patient Kane was working on. "Keep pressure on this, she has a collapsed lung I need to deal with that before I deal with anything else."

Clarke pressed down on the bleeding wound on the woman's leg, watching Kane as he inserted a large needle through the woman's ribs, allowing the air to leave the cavity.

Clarke glanced back when she felt someone grab onto her scrubs, doing a double take when she realised it was Lexa lying in the stretcher, looking paler than Clarke had ever seen her.

"Lexa," Clarke breathed, looking up at Miller who was pushed the stretched. "Take over here, Miller, I will take care of her."

Miller agreed and Clarke waited until he was putting pressure on the woman's leg before she moved to push Lexa's stretcher with one of the other residents.

"Clarke," Lexa panted, grabbing onto Clarke's hand. "Nate-"

"Where is he?"

"Don't know. He was in the car-" Lexa stopped to catch her breath and Clarke took the opportunity to scan the emergency room. It was futile, the pile up meant the room was packed. "Please, Clarke, find him and-"

"Don't worry, Lexa. I'll find him and I will look after him." Clarke promised, lifting her head to look at the resident who was with her. "Look after her, report back to me when she's been checked out."

The man nodded and Clarke smiled reassuringly at Lexa before she left to find Nathaniel. She dodged in and out of everyone, looking for long, dark brown hair and little body.

It took her a good five minutes to find him.

"I'll take over, Monroe." Clarke tapped her friends back, smiling down at the little boy on the stretcher. His face was all scratched and cut, his bottom lip was quivering and his eyes were filled with tears. "Hey there, Nathaniel. I'm doctor Griffin but you can call me-"

"Clarke," the boy interrupted in a quiet voice. "You are mommy's friend. Where is mommy?"

"The nice doctor just took her up to get checked out," Clarke explained, pulling the little light she had out of her pocket, telling Nathaniel to look directly at her. "Can you tell me what hurts, buddy?"

"M-my side and arm." Clarke hummed, shining the light in the boys eyes. "Is mommy going to be ok?"

"Follow my finger for me, ok?" Clarke requested softly. "Your mom is tough, buddy, and the doctors here are good, they will take good care of her."

Nathaniel sniffed and nodded, taking in a jittery breath.

"Ok, we are going to need to take you for an X-ray, get a look at those ribs and that arm but, from what I can tell, I think you are going to need to have surgery."

"C-can mommy be there?"

"Sorry, kiddo."

"You, then?" He stared up at Clarke with pleading, green eyes and it killed Clarke that she couldn't say yes.

"I'm sorry, I have to help look after the sick people here. But I promise, once it calms down here, I will scrub in on your surgery."

"What are they going to do?"

"I'm not sure right now but you _might_  end up like Wolverine." Clarke smiled at the boy but he didn't smile back, his eyes filled with tears. "Ok, Nate, I know you're scared but you're going to be ok, and as soon as you're awake we will go see your mom. And, I need someone brave, someone tough, to look after this for me," Clarke unclipped the bracelet she was currently wearing, wrapping it around the boys wrist of his uninjured arm, much tighter than it had been on her own wrist. "You think you can do that for me?"

Nathaniel sniffed and nodded. "Yeah, I will look after it for you."

"Thank you," Clarke pushed the boys hair back out of his face and kissed his forehead. She stood up, giving Monroe a little nod, signalling that the boy was ready to go.

Clarke helped deal with the seemingly endless stream of victims of the pileup and, after three hours, everything calmed down enough that she could slip away.

"Hey, Jackson," Clarke smiled at the boy behind the desk, tapping her torch on the surface. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Can you look up Lexa Woods and Nathaniel Woods? They came in with the pileup victims."

"Sure," he agreed and began typing. "Friends of yours?"

"Kind of,"

"Complicated, then." Jackson hummed. "Ok, Lexa is still in surgery, she broke her sternum, the bones moved to much for them to heel on their own. She also had a tear in her vena cava, that's what's taking so long."

"She's having heart surgery?" Clarke felt the blood drain from her face.

"Minor heart surgery, she should be fine." He assured. "And the kid was in surgery, had to have a metal rod pinned to his arm, but he's out and in recovery now."

"Which room?"

"One-eighteen, paediatric ward."

Clarke nodded. "Page me when Lexa comes out of surgery."

When Clarke reached the boys room he was, unsurprisingly, still asleep, so Clarke decided to go to the gift shop and pick him up some candy and a little red panda plushy.

Clarke knew it would take around two hours for the anaesthetic Nathaniel was on to wear off, and he got out of surgery around two hours ago so he should be waking up soon.

Clarke was midway through texting Octavia when she heard a little whine come from the boy in the bed. She slid her phone into her scrubs and sat forward, waiting for Nathaniel to look at her before smiling. "Hey there," she said softly, giving the young boy one of the bottles of water she had bought, knowing his throat would be dry from having the tube down his throat. "You were really brave in there, kiddo. And now you have metal in your arm."

Nathaniel blinked a few times, probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on. "Where's mommy?"

"She is still being fixed up, but she will be out soon and we can go see her, ok?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She broke a bone, like you did, but this bone is a little harder to fix so it's just taking longer." Clarke explained. "I got you this little guy."

Clarke sat the plushy on Nathaniel chest, smiling when the boy wrapped his arm around it.

"I kept it safe," he whispered, holding up the wrist that was sporting Clarke's bracelet.

"You did, thank you."

"Did you save all those people?" Nathaniel asked, his eyes drooping, probably from the pain meds he was on.

"Most of them," Clarke hummed

"You are like a superhero, saving everyone." The boy smiled lazily. "Like Clark Kent."

"Are you calling me superman?"

"Mm," Nathaniel hummed, pulling the little plushy closer to his face. "You are a superhero." Was the last thing he said before he fell asleep again.

Clarke laughed quietly, slowly standing and leaving the room. She asked one of the nurses to keep an eye on the kid before going looking for the OR Lexa was in.

Instead of scrubbing in she just grabbed one of the face masks, covering her mouth with it and peaking into the room.

"How is she?"

Rhys glanced up quickly, returning his eyes to the suturing he was currently performing. "She's fine, I'm just closing her up then I'm going to stick her in recovery."

"And the tear?"

"Minor, thankfully. She lost little blood, she's going to be just fine."

Harper glanced up at Clarke. "Friend of yours?"

"She was, yeah." Clarke saw Harper's eyes narrow but the girl didn't ask questions. "Let me know what room she's in, I'm going to take her son to see her when he's up."

"I will, Clarke." Harper assured and Clarke decided to get back to work.

It was a half hour before Harper paged her Lexa's room and two hours before one of the paediatric nurses paged her to tell her Nathaniel was awake.

The little boys eyes lit up when he spotted Clarke. "Hi,"

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"Ok," the boy nodded, glancing down at the plain white cast on his arm.

"My shift if over, how about I jump down to Michaels, pick up some paint and we can head to you mommy's room? I can turn that boring old cast into whatever you want while we wait on your mommy to wake up."

Nathaniel smiled brightly and nodded. "Can I be Ironman?"

"'Course you can, kiddo. I will be back in ten minutes."

"You heading out?" Miller asked as Clarke made her way for the door.

"Nah, I'm staying for a while."

"That Lexa girl?" Miller questioned, grinning Clarke nodded. "Nice."

"It's not like that," Clarke huffed.

"But it has been," it wasn't a question, Nathan knew the look Clarke was currently wearing. The boy shrugged, leaning back against the desk as he read over someone's file. "You're holding back, you probably shouldn't, though."

"You don't know what happened,"

"True," Nathan hummed, sliding his pen into his breast pocket. "But I know that look, regardless of what happened you still have feelings for her."

"Ok, Doctor Phil." Clarke scoffed. "I'll see you later."

Clarke picked up all the colours she would need, along with a couple of colouring books and pencils before heading back to the hospital.

"-and she gave me it to look after and I did." Nathaniel finished just as Clarke entered the room, giving Miller, who was checking the boys vitals, a little smile.

"You seem to have taken real good care of it." Miller smiled at the boy, scribbling on his file before walking over to Clarke.

"How is he?"

"He seems to have come off the best out of everyone in that crash. He's going to be perfectly fine."

Clarke thanked Miller, walking over to Nathaniel's bed. "Ready to go, buddy?"

Nathaniel nodded excitedly, allowing Clarke to pick him up and carry him to his mothers room.

He was a little surprised at first, when he saw his mother cut up and bruised but after Clarke assured him that she was perfectly fine he let her start work on cast.

"Mommy said you were friends when she was littler."

"We were, yeah. She worked at my dad's diner while she was pregnant with you." Clarke answered, trapping the pen she was using to trace the outline between her lips, studying the reference photo she had up in her phone as she dipped her paint brush into the red paint.

"Were you both girlfriends?" Nathaniel asked, watching carefully as Clarke went to work. "Joe in school said boys can't love boys and girls can't love girls but mom said that's not true. Mom said she loved a girl once." The boy rambled. "Was that you?"

"You're very curious, aren't you?" Clarke teased, looking up at the boy through her eyelashes briefly before looking back the his arm. "We weren't girlfriends, no. But I did love you mom."

"Why aren't you girlfriends then?"

"Life, buddy. I had to go to university so it wouldn't have worked out."

"You aren't in university now." Nathaniel shrugged.

Clarke laughed, causing the pen to drop from her lips. "I'm not, no."

"And mommy doesn't have a girlfriend." Nathaniel tried to seem inconspicuous about it, avoiding Clarke's eye and shrugging again.

"That she doesn't." Clarke answered, trying to sound completely clueless.

Nathaniel huffed. "You should be mommy's girlfriend."

"I should be your-" Clarke gawped playfully. "Where did that come from?"

Clarke laughed at the boys pout, carefully following the lines she had made with the paint brush.

"I do have to talk to you mom, but that's big people stuff, and I'm not making any promises that we will become girlfriends."

"That's fine," it wasn't, judging by the pout on the boys face.

Clarke finished sprucing up the boys cast, smiling at the excited grin on his face as he stared at it.

"It looks just like ironman. I can't wait to show Toby, he is going to be so jealous."

Clarke laughed as she cleaned everything up. "Let it dry for a few minutes."

Nathaniel crawled into Clarke's lap when the blonde deemed his arm dry, curling up into a ball, his head rested against her chest, and requested Clarke tell him a story about his mom. Clarke opted to the one where they went to the zoo.

Nathaniel fell asleep about half way through the story, after asking Clarke if they could go to the zoo. Clarke couldn't say anything other than maybe.

* * *

Clarke spent the next couple of hours reading news articles and texting Octavia and Raven (laughing when Octavia told her that Raven got them kicked out of a wedding show).

"Clarke,"

Clarke's eyes snapped up to Lexa, a smile tugging it's way onto her lips when she noticed the girl staring over at her.

"Hey," Clarke whispered, so not to wake the sleeping boy in her arms. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Is he ok?"

"Yeah, broken arm, couple of cracked ribs but he's ok." Clarke assured, chewing on her bottom lip as she averted her eyes to the boy in her arms. "You had heart surgery, Lexa."

"What?"

"It was minor, a little tear in your vena cava, but you would've bled out without the surgery." Clarke explained. "I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls."

"Clarke-" Lexa sighed.

"No, I wanted to, I just-"

"It's ok, Clarke. I understand." Lexa said. "And, I know it doesn't mean shit to you now, but I'm sorry I had to be that way."

"You aren't sorry for leaving?"

"No, I meant what I said, Clarke. We would've just held you back, I didn't want to do that to you."

"That wasn't your decision to make, Lexa."

"It was entirely my decision to make because I know what you would have done." Lexa shot back.

"We will talk about it later, you can't get stressed out right now."

Lexa nodded, "Do you really think I wanted to leave, though? I was never as happy as I was with you, and then Nathaniel came. I had gone from having no one to have two of the greatest things I've ever had in my life but I _knew_. I knew you were going to go to university, _make_  something of yourself, and I would have just been a deadweight. When Anya called and offered me a place to stay it was a no brainer."

"You could've said a proper goodbye

"Are you kidding? Clarke, I was so unbelievably infatuated by you from the moment I saw you staring at that guy at the diner with a look of pure disgust." Lexa laughed. "I knew that if I said goodbye to you face to face I wouldn't have left."

Clarke sighed, running her fingertips up and down Nathaniel's injured arm. "I'm so tired of being angry. I'm so tired of trying to force myself to be angry."

"Then why are you?"

"Because I should be mad. You _left_  me! You told me you loved me then left, that's why I want to be angry. That's why I _should_  be angry."

"But you're not?" Lexa asked carefully.

"No. I understand why you left, even if I don't like it." Clarke sighed. "I tried to be mad at you because I felt like I should have been. Then I saw you in the stretcher today and I just- I realised I was being stupid. You could have so easily died today and I might not have gotten the chance to speak to you. To talk all this through and maybe become friends."

"Friends?"

"That's all I can do right now,"

Lexa swallowed and nodded. "It's good that's the case, there's a brocode and I'm pretty sure I'd be breaking it since Nate is pretty smitten by you."

Clarke laughed, looking down at the sleeping boy in her arms.

"He's a shy kid, Clarke, he doesn't do well with anyone who isn't my sister or I but you, ever since that day in the grocery store, he couldn't stop talking about you." Lexa laughed quietly, shaking her head at the memory.

"He as asking me questions about when we were in high school. What did you tell him?"

"Just that we were old friends, what was he asking?"

"If we were girlfriends, and he even said that we should be because I'm not at university anymore and you don't have a girlfriend." Clarke grinned. "Proper little wing man you've got yourself here."

"He's one hundred times smoother than I could ever hope to be."

"I don't know, he has your eyes, that was always one of your main selling points." Clarke commented playfully, grinning when Lexa rolled her eyes. "He looks so much like you. The moment I saw him I had this... spark of recognition."

Nathaniel chose then to stretch out her limbs, letting out a little whine of pain, probably due to his ribs, and sleepily opened his eyes. "Mommy," He whispered, still not totally away, blinking away the sleepiness and peering up at Clarke, frowning in confusion when he realised it wasn't his mom holding him.

"Your mommy is just over there, buddy."

Nathaniel turned to look at his mom, his sleepiness seemingly gone as he beamed at Lexa. "Mommy!"

Clarke sat Nathaniel down on Lexa's bed.

"Careful, baby, we are both hurt." Lexa warned, wrapping her son up in her arms, burying her face in his neck. "How are you?"

"Ok." The boy smiled, planting an exaggerated kiss on her moms cheek before pulling back, showing off his case. "Look what Clarke did, mommy, she made me iron man."

"Look at you, Mr Stark." Lexa smiled, ruffling her son's already messy hair.

"When can we go home, mommy?" The boy asked, sitting cross legged beside his mom.

"I'm not sure, baby." Lexa looked at Clarke questioningly.

"He is good to go now but we have to keep you in for another few days, just to keep an eye on you."

"I will have to call Anya, see if she can come home from Chicago early to look after him."

"I can take care of him," Clarke offered before she had really thought about it, rolling her lip between her teeth when two pairs of green eyes moved to look at her. One pair excited while the other looked unsure. "I mean, I'm off tomorrow so I can bring him here in the afternoon."

"You don't have to-"

"Mom, can she?" Nathaniel grinned, whipping his head around to look at his mom. "Please."

"You're sure?" Lexa clarified and Clarke nodded.

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't."

"Ok," Lexa hummed, looking back at her son. "It will only be for two nights."

"That's'ok mommy, we can watch ironman." Nathaniel looked up at Clarke hopefully.

"All three of them." Clarke agreed.

Raven and Octavia entered a few minutes later and Clarke saw exactly what Lexa meant about Nathaniel being shy.

Almost as soon as the girls walked in the young boy seemed to shrink into himself, glancing up at the women every so often but other than that kept his eyes on his cast.

They girls came with chocolates for Lexa and a stuffed lion for Nathaniel. They stayed for about ten minutes before visiting hours were over and they had to leave.

"So you guys sorted it out?" Raven asked Clarke as they walked out to Raven's car, Nathaniel braced on her hip.

"I think so,"

"We're glad," Octavia said sincerely, strapping in the booster seat they had borrowed from Monroe and Harper since they wouldn't be needing it for their little girl until the next afternoon.

Raven and Octavia retreated into their room and Clarke took Nathaniel into her room, setting the small boy down on the bed. "You hungry, kiddo?"

"No, I'm ok." Clarke nodded, moving to her closest to get herself and Nathaniel something to sleep in.

"Do you like football?"

"Yeah, mommy and I watch it every Sunday."

"What team do you like?"

"Mommy likes the jets but I like the Giants."

"Atta boy," Clarke grinned, digging out her Giants jersey and handing it to the boy. "You can get changed in here and I will be back in a second, ok?"

Clarke went to get changed herself and got them both a bottle of water before heading back.

Nathaniel was standing at the foot of the bed, Clarke's jersey brushing his shins.

"I've never stayed out without mommy before." He commented in a timid voice and Clarke didn't hesitate to scoop him up into her arms.

"And I know that can be scary, buddy, but I will keep you safe. And your mom is safe, too, I promise."

The boy nodded, holding his wrist that still sported Clarke's bracelet up. "I still have it."

"Good. Now, how about I put ironman on, hm?"

That seemed to cheer the boy up, a bright smile pulling onto his lips.

Clarke set up the movie and got comfortable on the bed, her back against the headboard while Nathaniel leant his head on her thighs. She brushed her fingers through his hair and he was asleep within half an hour.

Clarke couldn't help but feel a little bitter when she looked down at the sleeping boy. She couldn't been doing this from the beginning but she wasn't because Lexa had left.

She realised after a few minutes that she had no right to be bitter, this wasn't her kid, she wasn't his father so Lexa had every right to just up and leave.

She realised, as she thought about Lexa, that she truly wasn't at her mad anymore. That maybe there was hope for them to salvage a friendship.

 

 

 


End file.
